{"id":197,"date":"2017-09-21T12:56:15","date_gmt":"2017-09-21T17:56:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/reconciledworld.org\/flourish\/?p=197"},"modified":"2017-09-22T10:32:16","modified_gmt":"2017-09-22T15:32:16","slug":"self-care-you-cant-give-what-you-dont-possess","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/reconciledworld.org\/flourish\/self-care-you-cant-give-what-you-dont-possess\/","title":{"rendered":"Self-Care: You Can\u2019t Give What You Don\u2019t Possess"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"fusion-fullwidth fullwidth-box fusion-builder-row-1 nonhundred-percent-fullwidth non-hundred-percent-height-scrolling\" style=\"--awb-border-radius-top-left:0px;--awb-border-radius-top-right:0px;--awb-border-radius-bottom-right:0px;--awb-border-radius-bottom-left:0px;--awb-flex-wrap:wrap;\" ><div class=\"fusion-builder-row fusion-row\"><div class=\"fusion-layout-column fusion_builder_column fusion-builder-column-0 fusion_builder_column_1_1 1_1 fusion-one-full fusion-column-first fusion-column-last\" style=\"--awb-bg-size:cover;\"><div class=\"fusion-column-wrapper fusion-flex-column-wrapper-legacy\"><div class=\"fusion-text fusion-text-1\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cSelf-care\u201d is a frequently used term today. While there is a good chance you have heard it, do you have any ideas what it means? Or better yet, do you know why is it significant for you to understand and practice in your life as a ministry leader? <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I asked an expert (Google) about the practices of self-care and this is what I found. One way to define self-care is:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The active and powerful choice to engage in the activities that are required to gain or maintain an optimal level of overall health.<\/span><\/i><sup><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">[1]<\/span><\/sup><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Along with a working definition there came thousands of suggested activities like:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A leisurely walk in the park<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Riding a bike for exercise<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A stress-free activity like putting a puzzle together or flying a kite. <\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">An exotic vacation<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Taking a nap<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Eating your daily-recommended allowance of vegetables. <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All kind of suggestions came\u2026 and all of them are correct in some way shape or form. But what does the Bible tell us about this topic? Is it important and does it impact your ability to flourish in ministry? <\/span><\/p>\n<h4><b>The Bible and doing<\/b><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In the Bible we are called to be doers of good works and justice. Micah 6:8 for example says: \u201c<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do justly, love mercy and walk humbly with God<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.\u201d James 2:14 asks: <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201c<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them?<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But what happens when the doing leaves us drained and exhausted?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It doesn\u2019t take long to see that the world is full of brokenness. As Christians who have experienced the grace of God, our response is to do what we can to bring healing. Thus, we work to bring justice, to feed the poor, and to mobilize others to care for the lonely and broken-hearted. Yet sometimes we can get so caught up in doing that we forget to care for our own bodies, minds and spirits. Sometimes our service leaves us utterly exhausted, with little room to be in relationship with ourselves. We are left with little to give and our lives and ministries ultimately suffer. <\/span><\/p>\n<h4><strong>A real life example<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Recently, I talked with a ministry colleague that was increasingly consumed with leading and filling every need of his church ministry. He was working hours upon hours trying to meet every request. He wasn\u2019t sleeping well, neglected exercise and was extremely stressed. In the midst of his extreme fatigue he came down with a simple, common illness but his body was unable to fight it off. In his state of exhaustion he found himself in bed for nearly two weeks, completely away from his ministry, trying to fight off the common sickness. The reality check for him was humbling. He returned to work with a healthier plan to delegate work, rest and care for his body. As a result his new self-care plan has allowed him to better lead his ministry and care for those God has placed under his leadership. <\/span><\/p>\n<h4><strong>The command to self-care<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Jesus proclaimed the greatest commandments to be: &#8220;<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8221; (Matthew 22:37-39). You might not realize it, but these words point us to the heart of good self-care.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dr. Gary Smalley in his book \u201c<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The DNA of Relationships<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201d insightfully points out: \u201cWhat we see here is Jesus telling us to value God above all else. But in the same breath, Jesus also teaches us to highly value our neighbor <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">in the same way<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that He expects us to highly value ourselves, as God&#8217;s very special creations. Jesus assumes that we want the best for ourselves; that&#8217;s how He created us. He instructs us to pursue the best interests of others with the same energy that we pursue our own best interests.\u201d <\/span><sup><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">[2]<\/span><\/sup><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you love God with every part of your being, He fills you up to overflowing with His amazing love. Out of that overflow, you give to others. This is the balanced life, a life worth living.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But notice something crucial: If you don&#8217;t take care of yourself, you have no overflow. In other words, you can\u2019t give what you don\u2019t possess. Without an overflow, you will find it hard to take care of others\u2014and almost impossible to obey Jesus&#8217; command.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you and I want a healthy flourishing ministry we must find balance. We must recognize the intrinsic call to self-care that exists in the greatest commandments of Jesus. We must love God and love others with the same energy that we love ourselves. <\/span><sup><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">[2]<\/span><\/sup><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&#8217;s only when you allow your cup to be filled that you can fill the cup of others. If you have nothing in your cup, you can&#8217;t give anything away!<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><b>How effective is your self-care plan?<\/b><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Take a moment to consider how well you take care of yourself? Do you prioritize rest, eating well, and regular exercise? Are you routinely finding time to connect with God on a personal level through worship, reading the Bible, and prayer? Are you giving yourself space to participate in stress-free activities that allow you to recharge and re-energize? How would you evaluate your self-care plan? <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Leading a ministry is really tough. There is certainly no shortage of stress, decision-making, and fear that you face daily. If we want to honor God in our ministry, we must learn to minister out of our overflow and not our shortage. After all, we can\u2019t give what we don\u2019t possess.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">* <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you need help talking through your ideas for self-care, please let me know. I would be happy to help you reflect and consider what a good balance looks like for you.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">** In the next newsletter I will give some practical suggestions for pursuing biblical self-care<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<\/div><div class=\"fusion-reading-box-container reading-box-container-1\" style=\"--awb-title-color:#333333;--awb-margin-top:0px;--awb-margin-bottom:45px;\"><div class=\"reading-box reading-box-center\" style=\"background-color:#f6f6f6;border-width:1px;border-color:#f6f6f6;border-top-width:3px;border-top-color:var(--primary_color);border-style:solid;\"><div class=\"reading-box-additional\">\n<h5><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Growth Point<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">:<\/span><\/h5>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What you impart has to be yours before you give it away.<\/span><\/p>\n<h5><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Scripture Point<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">:<\/span><\/h5>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Take a moment and do a quick verse study on Jesus and self-care. What do you learn from Jesus\u2019s actions? (Read: Matthew 14:23, John 6:15, Matthew 21:18, John 4:7, Mark 15:41)<\/span><\/p>\n<h5><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Action Point:<\/span><\/h5>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8220;A dry well can&#8217;t give water.&#8221; What are 3 practical steps you can take this week to ensure you keep filling your well; to ensure that you are able to give what God is calling you to give?<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><div class=\"fusion-clearfix\"><\/div><\/div><svg style=\"opacity:0.7;\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" version=\"1.1\" width=\"100%\" viewBox=\"0 0 600 28\" preserveAspectRatio=\"none\"><g clip-path=\"url(#a)\"><mask id=\"b\" style=\"mask-type:luminance\" maskUnits=\"userSpaceOnUse\" x=\"0\" y=\"0\" width=\"600\" height=\"28\"><path d=\"M0 0h600v28H0V0Z\" fill=\"#fff\"\/><\/mask><g filter=\"url(#c)\" mask=\"url(#b)\"><path d=\"M16.439-18.667h567.123v30.8S438.961-8.4 300-8.4C161.04-8.4 16.438 12.133 16.438 12.133v-30.8Z\" fill=\"#000\"\/><\/g><\/g><defs><clipPath id=\"a\"><path fill=\"#fff\" d=\"M0 0h600v28H0z\"\/><\/clipPath><filter id=\"c\" x=\"5.438\" y=\"-29.667\" width=\"589.123\" height=\"52.8\" filterUnits=\"userSpaceOnUse\" color-interpolation-filters=\"sRGB\"><feFlood flood-opacity=\"0\" result=\"BackgroundImageFix\"\/><feBlend in=\"SourceGraphic\" in2=\"BackgroundImageFix\" result=\"shape\"\/><feGaussianBlur stdDeviation=\"5.5\" result=\"effect1_foregroundBlur_3983_183\"\/><\/filter><\/defs><\/svg><\/div><div class=\"fusion-text fusion-text-2\"><h6><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">[1]<\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.moneycrashers.com\/self-care-definition-tips-ideas\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">http:\/\/www.moneycrashers.com\/self-care-definition-tips-ideas\/<\/span><\/a><\/h6>\n<h6><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">[2]\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.focusonthefamily.com\/marriage\/strengthening-your-marriage\/healthy-individuals-make-healthy-couples\/you-cant-give-to-others-what-you-dont-already-have\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">https:\/\/www.focusonthefamily.com\/marriage\/strengthening-your-marriage\/healthy-individuals-make-healthy-couples\/you-cant-give-to-others-what-you-dont-already-have<\/span><\/a><\/h6>\n<h6>Photo by\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/photos\/Ry917Ng_P1g?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText\">Nicolai D\u00fcrbaum<\/a>\u00a0on\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText\">Unsplash<\/a><\/h6>\n<\/div><div class=\"fusion-clearfix\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":201,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[15],"class_list":["post-197","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal-health-and-renewal","tag-self-care"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/reconciledworld.org\/flourish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/197","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/reconciledworld.org\/flourish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/reconciledworld.org\/flourish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reconciledworld.org\/flourish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/15"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reconciledworld.org\/flourish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=197"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/reconciledworld.org\/flourish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/197\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":203,"href":"https:\/\/reconciledworld.org\/flourish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/197\/revisions\/203"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reconciledworld.org\/flourish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/201"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/reconciledworld.org\/flourish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=197"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reconciledworld.org\/flourish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=197"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/reconciledworld.org\/flourish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=197"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}