{"id":276,"date":"2018-03-21T02:45:27","date_gmt":"2018-03-21T07:45:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/reconciledworld.org\/flourish\/?p=276"},"modified":"2018-03-19T13:59:38","modified_gmt":"2018-03-19T18:59:38","slug":"confronting-grief-head-on","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/reconciledworld.org\/flourish\/confronting-grief-head-on\/","title":{"rendered":"Confronting Grief Head On"},"content":{"rendered":"

This entry is a follow-up to a previous entry called <\/span>God\u2019s gift of grief<\/span><\/i><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGrief is a journey, often perilous and without clear direction,\u201d writes author Molly Fumia. \u201cThe experience of grieving cannot be ordered or categorized, hurried or controlled, pushed aside or ignored indefinitely. It is as inevitable as breathing, as change, as love. It may be postponed, but it will not be denied.\u201d <\/span>[1]<\/span><\/p>\n

When it comes to grieving, whether it is the loss of a loved one or the loss of a dream, there are no linear patterns or formula to follow. It is simply a process that takes time, intentionality, and lots of grace. With that said, being wholistically healthy means we don\u2019t avoid the grieving process but face it head on and allow God to help us work through the challenges and obstacles as they come. As He shapes us through our struggles and losses, we can flourish as He desires (Psalm 92:12-15). <\/span><\/p>\n

After writing the previous entry on grief, I felt the need to reflect on what walking through grief would look like practically. <\/span>How do we actually confront grief and what does that look like as followers of Christ?<\/span><\/i> My hope is that the resources I have found will provide direction, insight and peace for those of you wrestling with the emotions of grief and loss in your life. Here are some suggestions for confronting grief head on.<\/span><\/p>\n

1) Surround yourself with trusted community<\/h3>\n

God has not designed humans to walk through struggles alone. Not only does He provide the Holy Spirit, but God gives us others who can come alongside and care for us in need. Fellow believers have the ability to \u201c<\/span>mourn with those who mourn<\/span><\/i>\u201d (Romans 12:15). Finding family or friends who are willing to sit with you and walk with you through your grief is incredibly important. <\/span><\/p>\n

Trusted community <\/span>allows you to cry and to express your uncensored feelings without judgment or correction. They aren\u2019t quick to offer advice or rush your grieving, but instead simply listen well and provide practical help when you need it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Make a mental list of one or two people who you trust and who will lovingly support you. Then, invite them into your sorrow. <\/span>[2]<\/span><\/p>\n

2) Allow your process to be unique<\/h3>\n

C.S. Lewis describes grief as this: \u201c<\/span>A long valley, a winding valley where any bend may reveal a totally new landscape.<\/span><\/i>\u201d The truth is, for each of us the landscape will not be identical, and that is ok. <\/span>[2]<\/span><\/p>\n

Some people openly grieve, including lots of family and friends in the process. Others grieve in a more private way, mostly behind closed doors. The fact is, <\/span>grieving is a highly individual experience; there\u2019s no <\/span>right<\/span><\/i> or <\/span>wrong<\/span><\/i> way to grieve. How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, and how significant the loss was to you. Inevitably, the grieving process takes time. Healing happens gradually; it can\u2019t be forced or hurried\u2014and <\/span>there is no \u201cnormal\u201d timetable for grieving<\/b>. <\/span>[3] <\/span>There will be ups and downs, moments of relief followed by moments of anguish. It\u2019s all to be expected. <\/span><\/p>\n

Recognize your feelings, accepting that grief can trigger many different and unexpected emotions. Give yourself time, grace, and patience to allow the process to unfold. <\/span><\/p>\n

3) Express it to God<\/h3>\n

An important part of confronting grief is taking it to God. <\/span>The author of Psalms often pours out his heart to God. Interestingly, the psalmist never ends where he began. He may start a psalm with expressions of grief, but, almost invariably, he ends it with praise (Psalm 13, Psalm 23:4, Psalm 30:11-12, Psalm 56).<\/span><\/p>\n

God understands us (Psalm 139:2). When we commune with Him, we are able to open our minds to the truths that He loves us, that He is faithful, that He is in control, and that He knows how He is going to work it out for our good. <\/span>[4]<\/span><\/p>\n

Here are three possible ways we can express our grief to God:<\/span><\/p>\n

Through Worship<\/h4>\n

Worship can give voice to the soul, especially in the areas of grief and eternity. <\/span>In fact, mourners and poets often instinctively connect feelings of grief with longings for Heaven. I encourage you to find ways to express your feelings and emotions to God. Allow worship, in all of its forms, to be a comfort for your soul. <\/span><\/p>\n

Here is one song that I have found to be comforting and hopeful in my times of grief:<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>