{"id":316,"date":"2018-06-07T11:51:47","date_gmt":"2018-06-07T16:51:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/reconciledworld.org\/flourish\/?p=316"},"modified":"2018-06-07T11:53:12","modified_gmt":"2018-06-07T16:53:12","slug":"living-life-like-a-flamingo-ministry-and-family","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/reconciledworld.org\/flourish\/living-life-like-a-flamingo-ministry-and-family\/","title":{"rendered":"Living life like a flamingo: Ministry and Family"},"content":{"rendered":"

I was talking to my friend Rich the other day as he prepared for an unexpected work trip. Rich\u2019s co-worker asked Rich to travel in his place so he wouldn\u2019t miss his daughter\u2019s high school graduation ceremony. Rich went on to explain that his co-worker had missed years of his daughter\u2019s important milestones (birthdays, school dances, athletic games, etc.). Rich graciously agreed to fill this man\u2019s spot on the work trip so he wouldn\u2019t miss the graduation. <\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know Rich\u2019s co-worker, but I fully understand this father\u2019s situation. The work\/family life balance is probably one of the toughest challenges many ministry leaders face. Leading a church or ministry organization is filled with demands, and sometimes those demands seem to require more than 24 hours a day to fulfill! So what do we do when these important values in our life seem to collide? How do we begin to go about finding a good, healthy balance between the time we spend leading and fulfilling our ministry calling and leading and fulfilling our family responsibilities? <\/span><\/p>\n

In this post, which is a continuation of our <\/span>Living life like a flamingo: In balance <\/span><\/i>series, we will unpack the challenge of finding a good work\/family life balance. <\/span><\/p>\n

Two Conflicting arguments<\/h3>\n

We often have conflicting arguments going through our heads. <\/span><\/p>\n

Argument one says: \u201c<\/span>P<\/span><\/i>ut your family first! If your family is in disrepair your ministry is valueless. You cannot minister to others with full gospel impact unless you are making your marriage and your home a priority!\u201d <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Argument two says: \u201c<\/span>Don\u2019t be selfish. A ministry calling demands sacrifice. Your time is not your own and your home is not your own. Pour yourself out generously for the sake of the gospel and for the health of Christ\u2019s church.\u201d <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

How do we reconcile these two? <\/span><\/p>\n

The reality is, both statements have important truth. As a leader and father I want <\/span>to be a faithful steward of my family <\/span>and <\/span><\/i>the ministry I have been called to. I want to have a generous and giving heart. I don\u2019t want to be selfish and lose sight of the truth that life and breath are for Christ alone. I also don\u2019t want to neglect my marriage or children, which Christ has called me to uphold and steward.<\/span>[1]<\/span> We keep life in balance by finding a healthy commitment to both. With that said, here are four thoughts to consider:<\/span><\/p>\n

1. The Bible calls you to value both<\/b>. <\/b>God empowers us in both work and family, works through us in both, and He sanctifies us through both. While you will likely deal with a healthy tension between the two for much of your life, one thing that should not change is your commitment to both. The Bible is filled with passages that emphasize the importance of both responsibilities. Take a moment to study these verses:<\/span><\/p>\n

Family Responsibility<\/span><\/p>\n

Deuteronomy 4:9; 6:4-7; 11:18-19; Joshua 4:6; 1 Timothy 3:4; Ephesians 6:4<\/span><\/p>\n

Ministry Responsibility<\/span><\/p>\n

Matthew 28:19; Mark 3:33-35; John 15:5; Matthew 6:33; Matthew 10:37-39<\/span><\/p>\n

2. Balance does not mean equal parts<\/b>.<\/span> When you have a newborn in your home, your family requires more of your time and attention than it will at other times (especially in the middle of the night . . . right when you fall asleep . . . uggh!).<\/span><\/p>\n

When you\u2019re new in a position of leadership or role at your ministry, it will require more of your time and commitment than it will later on down the road.<\/span><\/p>\n

In both circumstances, if you fail to put more time into these areas during these seasons, you\u2019ll limit the joy and success that comes in them.<\/span>[2]<\/span> Balance requires flexibility and space to give and take. Recognize that there will be periods of intensity and periods to pull back. \u201cBalanced\u201d does not mean equal parts or hours on both. What it does mean is equal commitment to care for both. . <\/span><\/p>\n

3. Be present\u2026 wherever you are<\/b>.<\/b> When you are at work, work hard and give it your best effort. Avoid wasting time and know when to call it quits and go home. When you are at home, be at home\u2014not just there physically, but also emotionally. <\/span>Be the father, the sister, the wife. In vocational ministry this can be hard because \u201cministry never quits.\u201d In order to accomplish this you might need to set restrictions that help you accomplish the responsibilities you have in both areas. \u00a0For example, turning off your cell phone when you are spending time with your family or not checking work email when you are at home in the evenings. Work to set boundaries and keep them. <\/span><\/p>\n

4. Be accountable to others<\/b>. <\/span>By being open and accountable, we can let others help us recognize when we’ve gotten out of balance. People who know us well and observe our lives on a regular basis can usually tell when we’re getting out of balance better than we can for ourselves. This is often a spouse or other family members, or perhaps a close friend. Give someone permission to hold you accountable and be willing to hear them out. <\/span>[3]<\/span><\/p>\n

Be willing<\/h3>\n

Having spent time with many of you over the past years I know that this balance is important to you. I encourage you to continue seeking God for wisdom and direction. There is no perfect formula for this challenge, but there is always space for a grace-filled and willing heart. As always, let me know how I can support and encourage you in this effort!<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>

\n

Growth Point:<\/h4>\n

Finding proper balance between our ministry life and family life takes flexibility, intentionality, and accountability.<\/p>\n

Scripture Point:<\/h4>\n

Reflect on Galatians 6:9. What does this verse mean for your ministry and family life responsibilities?<\/p>\n

Action Point:<\/h4>\n

This week, identify \u00a0a person who can help hold you accountable to keep balance. Share with them your desire to honor both areas of your life and grant them permission to hold you accountable.<\/p>\n<\/div>

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[1] <\/span>https:\/\/www.namb.net\/flourish-blog\/how-to-balance-the-demands-of-family-and-ministry<\/span><\/a><\/h6>\n
[2] <\/span>http:\/\/youthspecialties.com\/blog\/balance-ministry-and-family-part-1\/<\/span><\/a><\/h6>\n
[3] https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/pastors\/2007\/july-online-only\/le-1988-001-2.38.html<\/a><\/span><\/h6>\n
https:\/\/www.xenos.org\/essays\/balancing-home-church-ministry<\/span><\/a><\/h6>\n<\/div>
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