Facing our Failures: “Simon, son of John do you love me?”

“Simon, son of John do you love me?” (John 21:15)  

Eight words that changed the trajectory of Peter’s life. 

If you remember the story Peter denied Jesus three times on the night of His death. Jesus stood in front of His friends in the upper room and told them He would soon die and Peter declared: 

“I will lay down my life for you!” (John 13:37)

Peter was always an impulsive and courageous character. And here, Jesus is saying He will die and Peter says, not on my watch! He imagines himself boldly standing before the Sanhedrin side by side with Jesus, his friend. Defending, shielding, guarding Jesus. But that night as Jesus was standing before the Sanhedrin, Peter was in the outer court, unable to boldly stand up to a servant girl. 

“You also are not one of this man’s disciples are you?” He had completely caved: “I am not.” Denying he even knew Jesus. (John 18:17)

“I am not.” Words that had probably kept Peter up at night. Memories that he couldn’t shake. Shame, guilt, humiliation, dishonor, embarrassment… failure. 

Failure is a strong word. It has a lasting impact. But it is a reality of life that we all must face. As leaders, how we respond and rebound from failure is crucial to our growth and fruitfulness moving forward. 

3 Attributes of failure

1. Failure is universal: Everyone fails at times. No one is immune. Sometimes our failures are caused by our own weakness or pride, or even our own stupidity! Other times difficulties are not our fault, but involve circumstances beyond our control. Either way, we should expect to face failures.

2. Failure can be painful. Failures can leave a scar on your heart, ego or confidence for years to come. Failure can cause lasting pain. 

3. Failure results in one of two things: Paralysis or Growth.
   • Paralysis: Unwillingness to try again or risk again and fall.
   • Growth: Learn from your mistakes and grow!

 3 ways we can learn from this story about failure 

1. Hiding doesn’t help: When we fail we tend to want one of two things. One, to hide in our pain and let the world fast forward a few hours or days hoping that people will forget. Or two, just wishing “things could go back to the way they were before.” 

No matter how uncomfortable it is, growth happens when we confront our pain and take the difficult steps to move forward.

2. Healing requires action. Jesus provides us with the opportunity to heal, grow and move forward but we have to respond. In Peter’s case: For every instance of failure, Jesus offered an opportunity for reconciliation and restoration. Peter denied Jesus three times. So, Jesus initiated three opportunities for Peter to repent and reaffirm his love. That is incredible grace. The focus was not on the failure but on the relationship and moving forward.

No matter how many times we mess up or how big a mess we make, His grace is sufficient.

3. Failure doesn’t define us. Even in his failure Jesus did not disqualify Peter. Jesus restored him back into the game.

The story goes on to share that this weak man who crumbled under pressure went on to preach not one, not two, but three important sermons in the opening chapters of Acts.

• • Acts 2: Pentecost, 3,000 people were converted. 
  • Acts 3: Solomon’s Colonnade, 5,000 people were saved. 
  • Acts 4: Peter bravely defended his faith in Christ and told the elders: “There is salvation in no one else” 

Three denials. Three affirmations of Christ’s love. Three courageous sermons defending Jesus in the face of opposition.

Peter’s story is my story—and yours. We all need to know that the risen Jesus is willing to welcome us back even in our failures. He is faithful even when we are faithless. If you are still carrying the effects of a past failure, I pray that you find healing and growth through the love of Jesus.