I’ve always struggled with comparing myself to others.

As an insecure, skinny kid, I often found myself wishing I was as fast as my classmate Troy or as smooth as Louis. My grades were good, but not as good as Mike and Drew. I loved drama and theatre, but never got the lead role like Zach did. There was always someone bigger, better, or faster, and I typically wished I was them.

As I look back now, I realize that I was young and immature. Naïve to the temptations that my identity was somehow wrapped up in the color of the ribbon I received. Certainly as I grew in my relationship with God, married the most beautiful girl in school, and was unleashed into ministry for the Lord, such games of comparing myself to others would stop. Right?

Yet, the urge to compare is still there. Even now in vocational ministry, the battle within still rages. My parenting is not what James Dobson writes about, my ministry isn’t as fruitful as other pastors, and my sermons are lame compared to Francis Chan!

How about you? Is this a struggle you wrestle with as well? Do you compare yourself to co-workers, other program leaders, or other pastors/teachers?

Better or worse; which one?

As time has passed, I have also discovered something new happening. Not only do the old feelings of inadequacy continue, but I also find myself fighting with the opposite – pride. Sometimes I am not good enough. Other times I am better than. More dependable than him, wiser than her, a better teacher, preacher, leader than them…

No matter the situation our comparisons leave us empty. Whether feelings of inferiority or superiority, pride or pity, we need to know that God has a different way. Here are two reminders and two encouragements to help us out.

Two Reminders

1. Comparing is coveting, which is a sin.

Comparison is selfishness and greed with a mask. Here is another way to put it: “I want what she has. I want his calling. I want her lifestyle. I want his anointing from God. I want her ministry fruitfulness.” Basically, it’s you saying, “I want his life, because, God, I don’t like the one you gave me.” [1]

Comparing can lead us down a dangerous path towards jealousy, possessiveness, and coveting, and the Bible has a few things to say about that.

Colossians 3:5: “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”

2. Comparisons downplay God’s standards.

No matter how hard you work, someone else will always be better. In 2 Corinthians 10:12 Paul says:

“We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.”

God doesn’t call us to hold ourselves to the standards of others, but to His standards alone. So as leaders, we shouldn’t worry if our ministry isn’t “measuring up” to someone else’s work, and we shouldn’t gloat if our stats seem better than the organization across town. [2]

The world’s standards will always change, but God’s standards will always remain the same.

If you find yourself constantly measuring your work against others, here are three questions you can ask yourself that may help you refocus and recenter your attitude:

  • How have I grown in the Lord today?
  • How is my ministry achieving God’s plan?
  • Am I stewarding the resources that God has given me?

Two Encouragements

1. God only makes masterpieces

You are the you that God designed. He didn’t make you on accident and he didn’t use the same mold or pattern as the next person. God is infinitely creative and infinitely brilliant, and it shows in you!

You weren’t made to be measured by your smartness, charisma, or influence. You were made to be you, and nobody can articulate God’s creativity quite like you can.

I love the message version of Psalms 139:14:

“Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb.

I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made!

I worship in adoration—what a creation!”

2. You are chosen

God made Noah to be a builder. He made David to be a writer and king. How has He chosen to use you? You have your own unique impact to make.

Jesus, in John 15:16, reminds us: “You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain.”

We all have particular tasks and assignments that are ordained by God. If we are obedient to following the path God has set before us, then we are doing exactly what God has designed us to do.

Giving Thanks

As human leaders, we all have moments of weakness. For some of us, that includes comparing ourselves to others. When I find myself slipping into the comparison game, I remind myself of the blessings God has given me. I am favored. I am forgiven. I am chosen and I am loved! We have so much to give thanks for! May God remind you this week of His love for you and help you as you say, “no” to the temptation of comparison.

Growth Point:

As leaders we need to stop comparing ourselves to others and recognize that God is our only and perfect measuring stick.

Scripture Point:

Read Galatians 6:4-5. What does it mean to examine your own actions? How does that speak to the temptation to compare?

Action Point:

Take 20 minutes this week to write down 10 ways you have seen God’s blessing in your ministry. Give God thanks for his provisions and ask Him to help you battle against the temptation to compare yourself to others.

 

[1] http://jeremyroberts.org/the-struggle-of-comparing-yourself-or-your-ministry-with-others/

[2] https://www.stewardshipcentral.org/posts/3-truths-about-comparing-your-ministry-to-others

http://www.crosswalk.com/blogs/christian-trends/the-hidden-dangers-of-comparison.html