Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:41,42).

There are some days in ministry and life where I feel like Martha. My days overflow with activity: helping, organizing, planning…all the while my heart grows more and more troubled and my patience gets thinner. I get so wrapped up in the tasks of caring for my family and ministry that I cease to care for my heart. I think it is common among ministry leaders and pastors that, at times in our lives, things spin out of balance. And one of the first areas to suffer is our personal intimacy with God—the very area we know is actually the fuel for fruitfulness in the other areas! And yet we somehow allow it to suffer.

When life is on overdrive, how do we find time to grow in intimacy with God?

Continuing in our “Living life like a flamingo: In balance” series, I want to unpack the challenge of balancing our need for personal spiritual growth and intimacy with the Lord in the midst of demanding ministry and family needs.

Relationships take time.

The truth is many leaders spend much of their time operating under tremendous stress. We move from one demanding situation to the next. To say that life is getting more hectic is to say the obvious! For Christ followers however, the pace of life ought to be a critical concern. If we become too busy for the activities God has designed for our personal spiritual growth, we are in serious jeopardy.[1]

Like any relationship, our intimacy with the Lord takes time. It takes time to grow spiritually. To be clear, it takes “quantity” time as well as “quality” time. At the very least, it takes time in God’s word (1 Peter 2:2) and space to reflect and listen to the Lord (1 John 5:14-15).[1] You will get out of your relationship with God what you put into it. As we think about the need for balance, it is important to begin by asking yourself, “What’s really important in my life?” The reality is we never find time to do just anything. But we will find time to do what’s really important to us. [2]

As we wrestle with this challenge, I have two warnings and two words of encouragement to help us along this journey.

Two Warnings

1) If your foundation is shaky, you won’t be able to handle much.

We need to spend time consistently soaking in God’s presence. Failed spiritual leadership is often not due to the pressures we face but a weak foundation. If your foundation is shaky, you won’t be able to handle very much at all. If you are going to be able to achieve and do the great things that God has in store for you to achieve and do, you need a strong foundation. And that foundation starts with a solid personal intimacy with God. As a father or mother, wife or husband, friend, and leader it is important to remember that the time you spend with God will result in you finding peace and inspiration for handling your other relationships and the rest of your busy life.

2) Don’t confuse knowledge, skills, or spiritual tasks for intimacy with God.

I can be very guilty of this. Many leaders and pastors allow their ministry tasks and chores to take the place of their intimacy with the Lord. We fill our schedules with leading and teaching, but fail to recognize that these activities aren’t cultivating our personal intimacy with the Lord. We may be gifted, know a lot of scripture, and have tremendous teaching skills, but those don’t equal spiritual intimacy and maturity. It doesn’t mean that they can’t be a part of our growth, but true intimacy is cultivated through stillness, rest, and intentional time of delighting and growing in the Lord. If you are a pastor or leader, don’t assume your sermon prep or lesson writing is enough. Be intentional and purposed to cultivate intimacy alone with God.

Two Encouragements

1) There are new mercies every morning.

If you are in a season of fast-paced insanity, frustration, and running around like a wild person, I encourage you to seek God with all your heart and ask Him to help you clear the unnecessary chaos that you have brought to your life. God is faithful and loves to help us restructure our days to receive His love in full. [4]

During one of the busiest seasons of my life, I found this principle to be incredibly true. As I rushed to write sermons and prepare work for my ministry responsibilities, I found that my time in the Lord became richer each day. It was the fuel that calmed my busy days. I found that the steadfast love of the Lord never ceased; His mercies never came to an end; and they were new every morning. Great is His faithfulness! (Lamentations 3:22-23)

2) We have an example in Jesus

None of us come close to being as pressed as Jesus (Mark 3:20, 6:30-32). Yet Jesus time and again made the necessary arrangements to be alone with the Father. The New Testament references this as a habit that Jesus followed (Luke 5:16).

Was Jesus fleeing His responsibilities? Was He being selfish? Of course not! Jesus was taking advantage of the opportunities He had to step away for His own well-being. Do you do this? Do you ever take a few moments and step away from the crazy to ensure that you are at your best and therefore more adequately prepared to bring your best to the situations you deal with in your life? Jesus shows that, even when one is busy, it is possible to take the time to commune with God!

Finding peace in the balance

Jesus said in John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled …” God releases you to break free from the chaos and experience a peace that surpasses all understanding. While balance is never a perfect solution, finding Jesus amidst the difficulties and demands of ministry and family life is. I pray that you find a good balance in your life. A balance that honors your family and ministry and still prioritizes the necessary intimacy with God we all need. May we all learn to desire and yearn for intimate time with the Lord of life and be renewed in His daily provisions of love, purpose, and peace.

Growth Point:

Finding balance requires developing intimacy with the Lord and being renewed by the peace He provides.

Scripture Point:

Reflect on Lamentations 3:22-23. What does this verse mean for you as you seek balance and intimacy with the Lord?

Action Point:

Schedule one hour of solitude with Jesus this week. Read Mark 6. Ask God to speak to you as you read about the chaos of life that surrounded Jesus. Then ask the Lord to meet you in your solitude as He met Jesus when He withdrew to a quiet place (Luke 5:16).