One of my favorite American movies as a child was Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. It’s a great fictional adventure movie where Indiana Jones, the main character, enters a dangerous tomb to search for magic rocks and to free some children from an evil ruler. Along the way he fights the bad guys, encounters numerous perilous booby-traps, clings to a suspended bridge over a river full of crocodiles and ultimately escapes the temple in a fearless mine cart sequence. The movie is essentially all about Indiana Jones and how he heroically saves the day.
Interestingly enough however, while I can recall many of the valiant things he did to rescue the children and defeat the evil ruler I can quickly forget that Indiana wasn’t alone in his victory. Actually, it was Shorty, his sidekick, who saved the day. Without Shorty’s valiant escape from the mine and quick thinking to save Indiana from the trance he was put in, Indiana Jones would have been defeated. While Indiana Jones gets the credit, it was Shorty that set them free.
Every Indiana Jones needs a shorty once in a while and every pastor and ministry leader, in time, will also need one too. Working in ministry is an adventure of its own, and if there is one thing I have learned it’s this: If you want to be successful don’t go at it solo.
As we explore more in our Pursuing God’s Ways theme I want to take a moment to unpack the importance of having authentic genuine friendships to support us along the way.
The Christian life is lived in Human relationship
Life, by nature, is relational. Look at these examples from Scripture:
- God gave Adam, Eve (Gen. 2:18-25).
- Christ called us his “children” (John 1:12).
- Jesus calls his followers “friends” (John 15:15).
- Jesus prayed for his followers to be “one” (John 17).
- Jesus stated that his followers would be recognized by their love for others (John 13:34-35).
- The second greatest commandment is to Love your neighbor! (Mark 12:31)
While our relationship with God is a personal decision, as Christians we are called to involve ourselves into the lives of others; to love, care, serve and encourage. Ultimately, we see that the Christian life is meant to be lived in human relationship.[1]
What kind of friends do we need?
Jesus had His 70 (traveling companions), His 12 (disciples) and His 3 (James, John, Peter). It was a circle of trust that surrounded Him and buoyed Him along the way. These weren’t “Facebook Friends” these were close, and in the case of James, John and Peter, really close; authentic friendships.
In particular it is vital in ministry to have the inner circle of three. (Number may vary) The kind of friends who know the in’s and out’s of who you are. They know your weaknesses, they know your struggles, they know when you are vulnerable and they are there for you along the journey. They are friends that hold you accountable, support you when you fail and are there for you through thick and thin.
Don’t go solo?
Too many pastors and ministry leaders are afraid to open up and reveal their lives, struggles and weaknesses to another. As leaders we have a strong sense of pride and would rather suffer quietly than let someone else see our weakness. Dr. Howard Hendricks interviewed 246 individuals who had experienced moral failures in their ministry and the results were staggering. In his study he came to find that all 246 of them had failed to have someone they were specifically accountable to.[2]
Friends, whether it is sexual, financial, selfish pride or one of another host of possible enticements – temptation is real and you as a ministry leader are not immune. You are a sheep trying to survive with a roaring lion on the prowl.
Accountable friendships in ministry are of utmost importance. If we want to continue to pursue God’s ways we must be willing to let others into our lives to hold us accountable and encourage us along the way. Here are 7 reasons why:
- We are prone to wander– We’re human and are easily enticed by the temptations of this world. As soon as we think we have arrived in our faith – we are failing to recognize our sin.
- Isolation is vulnerability – A lonely sheep is likely to be harmed. We are most vulnerable when we minister alone.
- We are in Spiritual warfare – Our fight is against the principalities of this world. (Eph. 6:12) The enemy’s arrows will always have an aim towards ministry leaders.
- It’s too easy to hide our sin – The demons lurk in the silence. Confessing our sins is the right step towards forgiveness (Psalms 32:5)
- It humbles us– When you vulnerably admit your sins to another it’s humbling. We all need humility because it reminds us we aren’t God.
- We all need encouragement– Godly friends are there to encourage you. To remind you of God’s truth and keep you from wallowing in self pity.
- As you receive you can also give back– In your sharing you can also encourage others. Let us consider how we can stir each other on towards love and good works. (Heb. 10:24)
Are you in Spiritual Danger?
Lacking close accountable friendship is a spiritual danger. It puts you in a place of vulnerability and exposure. Who are the people in your life that truly know who you are? Who are your trusted friends that you can call in a desperate time of need and know they will be there to love, care and encourage you? If you don’t have them who can you develop this honesty with? If you do have them, are you being honest with them?
As we pursue God’s ways together we must realize that the Christian faith is not meant to be walked alone. Indiana Jones got the credit but Shorty saved the day. We all need a Shorty to encourage, challenge and support us along the way.
Growth Point:
Accountable friendships are a necessary fixture for all Christians, especially those in ministry leadership.
Scripture Point:
Read James 5:16. Is this a regular part of your Christian journey?
Action Point:
What is your circle of friendships like? Do you have the “3”, the “12” and the “70” to support you along the way? If you don’t, take initiative and begin to write down the names of people you would like to ask to be a part of that circle for you. Give yourself a week to contact them and set up a time to meet with them and ask them to be a part of your circle.
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