Self Care: Developing a Plan That Works

You can’t give what you don’t posses… it’s a phrase we used a few posts ago in our conversation about self-care. (Read Here). As ministry leaders, our lives are filled with stress, demands, and exhaustion, making self-care a huge must! As we care for ourselves, we will be better equipped to care for those that God places in our midst. We ended the conversation last time with the question: How do I pursue biblical self-care in my life? What does a plan for me look like?

Elements of a self-care plan

A typical self-care plan aims to address the stresses of everyday life with simple, practical habits. Habits that, when put in place, will move you towards proper physical health, balance, perspective, and rest. Most of the habits are based around finding sufficient “me-time.” Time to recharge, relax and realign your life and priorities. For example:

1. Exercise regularly (walk, run, swim; do something that gets you moving)
2. Pursue habits that reduce stress (read a book, watch a sunset, hum a tune)
3. Start eating healthier (eat your vegetables!)
4. Relax or sleep
5. Be good to yourself (enjoy a meal, have a massage, or go on a vacation)

Search the Internet and you will find thousands of suggested plans and activities. From my perspective, a good plan incorporates activities that help you recharge in all four categories of life: physical, mental, social, and spiritual. This is a great goal and a great place to begin thinking. To help, I have included at the bottom of this post a list of questions that will help you begin evaluating yourself in each of these areas.

With that said, there’s more. A lot more.

Diversion isn’t enough

Most self-care plans are filled with suggested activity, and, as we have covered, activity is good. However, be aware that the activities need to do more than just take your mind off of the stressors. Reading a book for example—you read to relax and, while doing so, you stop thinking about your struggling marriage or your conflict at work. That is not a bad thing. Yet simply distracting ourselves from the issue will not, in and of itself, help to solve it. Distraction is not redemption. Forgetfulness is not forgiveness. In our activity we must also learn to go godward.

Going Godward

This is the key to any biblical self-care plan. Go ahead and listen to music, watch a sunset, run a mile or cook a meal, but go godward—be mindful of God and His great love for you while doing it. Any habit or activity can be a means of joy, peace, and healing, but only if it brings you to God—our only Lord, Savior, and greatest Treasure. [1]

• Admire a sunset – and remember that your sins are forgiven as far as the east is to the west (Psalms 103:12).
• Cook a meal and enjoy it – and pray for God to satisfy you again (Psalms 90:14).
• Listen to music or sing a song – and reflect on the stunning promises of God (Isaiah 41:10).
• Have a massage or have coffee with a friend – and know how much your Heavenly Father cares about and provides for you (Matthew 6:25-34).

The power of effective habits is not in the seclusion, the silence, or the journal, but in Whom you find in the habit. As leaders, we must take our activity godward. The purpose of finding time to enjoy ourselves, relax, relish community, and be in awe is not only to find ourselves, but to find God. If you find more of God, you have found resources far beyond yourself to address your deepest, most desperate needs and issues.

Ask for help

A biblical self-care plan often doesn’t come naturally. It takes time, effort and intentionality to prioritize your health. Having someone to help encourage and support you in this process is often the missing piece. If you are looking for someone to help encourage you in this process, let me know. I am here to help!

Resources to begin

How healthy are you? Listed below are several questions that, when answered honestly, will help you evaluate your healthiness in each area of your life.

Physical:

• How am I sleeping?
• How are my eating habits?
• Am I getting regular exercise?
• Am I fairly healthy, or am I experiencing repeated physical illnesses?
• When I scan my body, are there areas of persistent physical tension?
• Am I able to physically relax?
• Am I experiencing panic or anxiety attacks?

Mental:

• How are my moods?
• Am I especially irritable, angry, sad, anxious?
• Am I acting out in undesirable ways?
• When I sit quietly with myself, what emotions arise?

Social:

• How are my closest relationships these days?
• Can I easily access friends, family, supportive community?
• What’s my work environment like right now?
• Does life feel “fair” to me, or do I feel overworked and underappreciated?
• Are there any particularly stressful or painful circumstances right now?
• When’s the last time I really had fun?
• When is my next holiday?

Spiritual:

• Am I feeling spiritually dry, distant, disconnected?
• Are the fruits of the spirit from Galatians 5:22-23 ripening in my life?
• How often do I pray? Do I long for more intimacy with the Lord?
• Am I feeling encouraged by the Word of God and through daily Bible reading?
• Am I faithfully fighting sin in my life?

* The above questions have been taken from the following resource: http://www.alifeoverseas.com/ask-a-counselor-hows-my-self-care-plan-holding-up/

[1] https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-insanity-of-self-care

Photo by Nani Williams on Unsplash