Why Depending on God is Hard for Me

In the United States it seems everything is at our fingertips. I remember when our family returned about 3 years ago from living in Bolivia. One of the first things we remember (even as we walked through the airport) was the amount of people with smartphones. Blackberries were the in-thing when we left and now everyone had a smart phone. We didn’t even know exactly what it did outside of connecting to the Internet. As an early 30’s adult it was weird walking into the Verizon store a month later and admitting to the attendant that we had no idea how they worked and if we even wanted one.

Now, Americans are essentially addicted to smartphones. According to a recent pew research study nearly half of all Americans admit they couldn’t live without them! [1]

What is it that draws us to our smartphones? Even more why have we become so dependent on technology and instant control?

As I think about the idea of depending on God I realize that at the heart of the principle is a reality of relinquishing control. When you depend on something you are placing yourself in a vulnerable position of need. As a human that is not a comfortable place! At least it isn’t for me.

And yet God assures us over and over that true fruitfulness and success doesn’t come through our ways and methods but his ways and methods. (John 15) It’s through abiding and depending on God that we will produce fruit that lasts and remains.

As followers of Jesus isn’t that what we want? It’s what I want! I want to bear kingdom fruit that blesses others and glorifies God’s name.

So the question remains why don’t I just depend on God more? What is holding me back?

While I have not totally discovered the answer to that question for myself I have some thoughts from my life that you may relate with.

Depending on God is risking failure

What if this blows up in my face? If I depend on God and nothing happens then my witness and situation could be wrecked. I often find myself thinking if I stop my activity or methods and turn to God for answers I risk digressing or “missing the deadline.” Sometimes it is easier to keep doing what I know and am comfortable with than change paths risking the opportunity for failure.

And yet, I can’t remember a time when I have ever failed by depending on God…

Depending on God risks foolishness

I imagine that walking around the city walls for several days blowing trumpets looked pretty foolish. Joshua and the Hebrew people must have thought “we look like the biggest buffoons right now walking around Jericho blowing horns.” Yet, as we know from the Bible what looks foolish in man’s eyes is sometimes brilliance in God’s eyes.

1 Cor. 1:27-29: “But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.”

Stepping out to go against the crowd while depending on God to do what he calls you to do is really challenging. My fear of shame, irrationality and reputation has kept me from depending on God at times. I admit I spend too much time and energy thinking about how others perceive me than pursuing what God has for me. It’s why I sometimes don’t take the step to pray for healing or release from bondage for others. I am too afraid I will look like a fool if it doesn’t work out.

Depending on God is settling for the world’s best

While the world’s best is sometimes pretty awesome it doesn’t begin to compare to the miraculous! Like an investment I am eager to put my time, money and faith into things that produce results. That is why innovators and creators are of such high demand. We are all looking for the next best thing; the newest way to raise money or the brightest way to find effective business partners.

It just seems easier to pick up the latest book or join the newest forum than taking the time to silence ourselves before the Lord and allow him to direct our paths. In doing so I think we settle for addition and miss out on multiplication!

I believe that God wants to do things beyond what we can imagine. Ephesians 3:20 says:

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.”

He is just waiting for us to ask and then obey by trusting in him.

I believe God is a patient God. He doesn’t force us into salvation and I don’t believe he will force us into depending on him.

I want God to do the impossible in my life and in the life of my church, ministry and community but I struggle to depend on him for it. Sometimes I just make it way harder than it needs to be.

I admit I know what it takes (at least I think I do) I just struggle to do it.

Thank you Lord for your grace and mercy that is new every morning. Show me your ways o Lord and teach me the beauty of relying and depending on you.