Can I be honest? As I’m attempting to write this blog, I’ve gotten five minutes of work done in 30. My daughter needed help trying to get her computer to work (after ten frustrating minutes, I threw my hands up and declared it hopeless). My son is whining and stomping around because he’s seven and that’s his M.O. The children are bickering over scarce resources, shared spaces, and nothing at all. They’re vying for my attention despite (or maybe because) of the fact that I told them “Mom’s at work.” And of course they’re hungry. Constantly, ravenously hungry. It’s nine a.m., and I’ve already resorted to praying that God will give me patience not to hit anyone.   

I know I’m not alone. Every parent I know is struggling with similar things during this lockdown. Our social media feeds are riddled with “laughing through the pain” type memes about trying to hold it together. 

Exactly no one is surprised to see headlines like “UK lockdown: Calls to domestic abuse helpline jump by half” (BBC) and “Domestic Violence Calls Mount as Restrictions Linger” (NYT). Even the most well-equipped parents are at their wits end some days. Add to these frustrations vanishing family and social supports, lost income, fear and worry, or substance abuse—it’s little wonder that violence is on the rise. Of course, that doesn’t make it any less heartbreaking to think of victims locked in with their abusers with none of the typical reprieves of school or work and quite literally no way to escape. 

Domestic violence touches every nation in the world. But in most of the countries where RW works, abuse isn’t looked on with a lot of disapproval. In fact, a room full of doctors in one country once freely shared with us that it is okay to beat your wife if she shames you. In another country, a group of Christian workers explained that the Bible teaches that women are property like cattle and houses. After we challenged pastors elsewhere not to beat their wives (a novel idea for them), they came back later and reported how happy they were because they found it easier to control their wives with kindness (clearly more teaching was needed). 

It’s not always men doing the abusing. Many young wives suffer abuse at the hands of their mothers-in-law. Children are beaten by mothers as well as fathers, and often by teachers too. When we taught the Marriage and Family module of our TCT Program to Master Trainers in one country, they explained that in their culture the only way people know how to raise children is by beating them and yelling at them. As a result, the children escape from the parents as soon as they have the chance, and so many families are broken. 

But there is hope. We’ve seen God heal hundreds, even thousands, of families from violence (read more about the transformation we’re seeing or read Sam and Sharon’s story).  Let me share one story of a couple—I’ll call them David and Mary—whose church studied the Marriage and Family module in 2019:

This couple testified that the only communication they had was when the husband gave orders. He was like a military commander. Mary was mentally ill from the stress (and possibly from multiple head injuries from frequent beatings)—suffering constant headaches, memory loss, and confusion. But the more mentally ill she became, the more David threatened, “If you look like a fool, I will divorce you.” After the first lesson of the Marriage and Family module, David invited the trainer to their house. The trainer challenged David, “The Bible says you must love your wife even to the point of sacrificing your own life for her. Why can’t you support your wife in her sickness?” By God’s grace, David repented, asked his wife to forgive him, and changed his attitude. The couple has peace now. They talk. He even brings her food. Now Mary has recuperated and walks proudly in the village. 

There are so many couples like David and Mary. So many hurting families that God wants to restore. Especially as vulnerable families bear the hardships of COVID-19 lockdowns, please join us in praying…

  • For those experiencing abuse, please pray Psalm 20:1—May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. 
  • For families to hear and understand the truths that every person—parents, grandparents, spouses, children, brothers and sisters—is valued by their Creator and that we are only stewards of those God has entrusted into our families.
  • That families will learn practical skills for parenting and resolving conflict without violence. 
  • That God would break cycles of abuse. Many abusers have been abused themselves—pray that God would release them from their own pain and restore their identity. 
  • For Christian couples to know what it means to love, respect, and submit to one another according to Ephesians 5. 
  • For anger and tension in the home to be replaced by peace as families look to God for provision and find Him faithful.
  • That people would see Christians’ changed families—happy marriages, loving parenting, and obedient children—and glorify God. Pray that this would be a powerful witness to their societies.